The Quotable Geoffrey


The producers made an excellent choice in casting Dom as Geoffrey -- all those clever one-liners sound so much better coming from that crooked little grin. Here I've collected some of my favorite Geoffrey quotes. If I listed them all, well, I'd have to list nearly everything he said. But that may just be because I'm addicted to his accent. Hmm.

Thank you to all who have sent in quotes! If you have any you want to add, send them my way.


Hetty: Oh, look at this. "Children In Need". How could you?
Geoffrey: I'm a child. I'm in need. I was just...speedin' up the procedure.


Hetty: I need an assistant. Sexton Blake had his Tinkerbell and so shall I.
Geoffrey: Tinkerbell was a fairy, Mrs. Wainthropp.
Hetty: Be that as it may.


Geoffrey: You were right, Mrs. Wainthropp. It was what I wouldn't do.
Hetty: Which was?
Geoffrey: The landlady. She was after me body!


Girl: You know, you're beginning to grow on me. I've been wondering what you're like in bed.
Geoffrey: I've had no complaints.
Girl: Maybe you've had no opportunities either.
Geoffrey: I don't know how to reply to that.


Mr. Wainthropp: You're a teenager.
Geoffrey: I am.
Mr. Wainthropp: You've got urges.
Geoffrey: I have.
Mr. Wainthropp: It's a problem.
Geoffrey: It is.


Janet: I'm hungry.
Geoffrey: Me too.
Janet: For lunch!
Geoffrey: Ah! That as well.


Hetty: ...is that not so, Geoffrey?
Geoffrey: What's that?
Hetty: The Gay Gordons should stay that way.
Geoffrey: It's not up to them, Mrs. Wainthropp.


Girl: Why were you really following me?
Geoffrey: I was following you because....anyone can dream.


Client: Only women and poofs eat salad.
Geoffrey: Well, I think I'd like some salad.


Suspect: You come wormin your way in here like some bloody detective--
Geoffrey: Most unlike! I'm just an overenthusiastic schoolboy.
(oh dear lord.)


Geoffrey:I couldn't catch him!
Hetty: What d'you mean, you couldn't catch him?
G: Well he weren't a marathon runner.
H: And he kicked you in passing?
G: Oh no, that were a girl.
H: You're havin' a bad day, Geoffrey.


Geoffrey: What's this? Perry-grine. Is that a bird or someone's name?
Girl: It's a kind of hawk. Peregrine.
Geoffrey: Peregrine.
(sorry, I couldn't resist. ♥)


Hetty: Now here's the address.
Geoffrey: But he's violent!
Hetty: And you're my associate.
Geoffrey: I'm only 18! And getting younger!


Woman: Won't you spoil the surprise then?
Geoffrey: Oh no, I told her I was comin in to...uh...to see my girlfriend.
Girl: ...
Geoffrey: To ask her out, like.
Girl: *sporfle* Come back when you're shaving, Chuck.


Geoffrey: So... can you tell the difference?
Janet: What do you mean?
Geoffrey: Do I feel lumpier?
Janet: I'm not sure I like lumps.
Geoffrey: Well they're in all the right places!


Hetty: Geoffrey, is there anyone that you didn't know at school?
Geoff: Well, it was a comprehensive school, Mrs. Wainthropp.


Geoffrey: This tape recorder's pushing me breasts out of place!